people always talk about signs-as if their meticulously placed through out life to guide us in a sense or way that we cant even begin to explore or manifest.

i never really paid ownage to this form of seemingly absurd idea or any of the retaliating ideologies it holds. i never really did until it felt like this sign was smacking me in the face-metaphorically of course. it began with a feeling that transpired into an unfortunate happening which prevented, which then transpired into a prolonging...all of an event im not 100% certain i want to be a part of. 

so when does it migrate from mere coincidence to a 'sign?'

as previously stated; a sort of...event-if it must be dubbed anything-has been to take place a few times now. this event i dont feel particularly optimistic about or even comfortable with for that matter. the first time it was to begin its progression, there was a small part of me resisting in a way i had never quite experienced, with pure hesitation. then it followed with a freak speed bump type of occurrence that prevented it from happening and NOW this event which was to take place at a certain time has been prolonged further, citing schedule conflicts.

is this enough to be considered a sign? or am i looking, desperately at that, for any means possible to litigate my resistance thus making me and my feelings towards it seem less insubordinate and relentless?

i just wish there was someone to part the clouds and make it all clear. palpable. unambiguous. 

and in a sense, thats what i so unreasonably, want these proceedings to be; someone telling me whats right, whats wrong...the signs, working in unison to declare the "right things to do" or impart some form-any form-of wisdom on me, shed some light. words could never wholly reiterate the gravity of what im looking for i suppose. thats why i think we personally quest for the apparition of signs-to give us something to believe in, to use as our last minute 'pardon from the warden.'

or..are they simply, utterly and completely just...occurrences, thrust upon us for reasons we cant explain.

i guess we'll never know if these 'signs' or the idea of their nature truly exist or if they are a fabrication of someone holding onto a hope or absolution...that is most certainly not coming.