stereotype or secret weapon.

i've contained my...'feelings' on this subject for quite some time but am more recently finding my strong opinions protruding and basically begging to be omitted in a blog.
so it here goes:

stereotypes- i loathe them from my very core.

stereotype: a set of characteristics or a fixed idea considered to represent a particular kind of person; an idea or convention that has grown stale through fixed usage.

in a sense, i completely disagree with this definition. they neglect to say anything about how debilitating stereotypes can be, how incorrect and damning.

example: blondes are stupid.

i would deem this one of the most recognizable and often used stereotypes-closely followed by those of race, religion or sexual orientation. seemingly some of the most intelligent women i know are blonde; whether born with blonde hair or dyed it somewhere along the line. i have a best friend who has been blonde since the day she evacuated the womb who has graduated one of the most prestigious programs at a very reputable school and now has a job where she assists people, with sometimes, more education and life experience than she has. another close blonde friend has made a small empire with her artistic talent and this empire in question has an ever expanding popularity, i believe one day she will take on the world in her craft. need i continue on various other blondes i know, or has my point been tried, tested and true with these examplary females?

furthermore: lets look at famous blonde entrepreneur and decorator extrordinaire Martha Stewart. Yes, Martha Stewart...let me previously abolish the idea that i think her getting caught and going to jail was smart- i dont...however, this woman single handedly divulged in her craft and made it a multi million dollar enterprise. she took over television, print, retail. martha stewart to the world is like the plague was to egypt in the story of the exodus!...and there came forth my own 'stereotype'...but a solidified one at that. a 'dumb blonde' would never accomplish half the feats that Marth Stewart has. end of story.

we can also use...
Princess Diana: her intelligence and compassion captured the world. she capitalized on her title to help others.

marilyn monroe: used her sex appeal and business like mind to conduct affairs on her terms-she was a mover and shaker of her time.

hilary clinton: had her own articulated plan on providing a better health care system for the people of the united states-and had clinton administrators not coheresed her nix the plan-it would have been successful.

their are NUMEROUS actresses and songstresses who hold b.a.'s, masters, p.h.d.'s. look it up.

point proven. in bulk.

i personally feel empowered being blonde-bottle blonde, mind you, but still! i believe the notion that i am unintelligent or uneducated motivates me all the more to be successful and cultered. i read, i write, i learn, i obtain information and use it to my advantage, i offer my opinions and advice to the best of my knowledge.

but for some reason this ridiculous and unconcious stereotype will never allow the legitimacy of a persons intelligence to surfice. so fighting it is redundant.

the mantra i have acquired pertaining to this subject is: ignorance is bliss. i chose to forget what any and every individual assumes about me based upon my appearance or physical features and carry on proving them wrong. in the grande scheme of things all that really matters is your knowledge of your capabilities. screw what the cyniques and critics have to say based upon your "stereotype"...and dont be surprised when you once again meet these people in the middle...on your rise to the top and their slow decent to the bottom.

this ones for you...

Now and Then.

Thelma and Louise.

Forrest Gump.

all of these: cinematic genius'. Favourites. And they all possess and omit the same message:

friends are one of the most important things in life.

you will find no cynic here. i, more than ever, believe in this statement with all my being.

through out the course of my life i have encountered each type of friend; some remained, some packed up shop and some i evicted-so to speak. when were younger its quite a lot easier to have a large, vast group of friends because our requirements of them are merely inviting us for sleepovers or sharing their deserts at lunch time. now its evolved in such an intricate way-to requiring them for advice when you don't know the answers or what do to in a specific situation and support when you make decisions you may have not clearly thought through. at this point in life, our friends have now morphed into our family. they don't get mad when we call at 3am, they tell us right from wrong-even when we desperately wish they wouldn't, they push us to take opportunities and experiences we otherwise wouldn't without their steamroll approach.

i feel like i won the friend lottery. the jackpot, at that. i have a close knit group of friends who mean the world, the sun, the moon and the stars to me. i'm not aware they know the extent of how much i value their opinions, advice and support but i do. they are the lifeblood that fuels my metaphoric vessel.

yesterday, my best friend and i were discussing the longevity of the average friendship and determined ours was one of the most triumphant of anyone we had encountered. the majority of people i know consider their 'best friend' someone they met in grade 10 or college-and dont miscontrue my words, im not undignifying their friendship in any way, shape or form- but i do feel a sense of pride that my most important friendships have at least 18 years under their belt. 18 years of ups and downs, highs and lows, late nights, early mornings, adventures, heart breaks, losses and gains, new experiences and every day rituals. these people who i have ingrained and enriched my life with have become a part of who i am and who i still have to become.

in retrospect i also have to credit the friends i have made in the more recent years. these people have accepted me for the person i have become pre-our friendship, taken me as i am, scars and all, and i admire that.

i also must put a shout out to those friends who..."didnt make the cut." these people taught me what ISNT friendship and ultimately made me appreciate and become more cognizant of the value of my existing friendships.

all of my friends play different roles in my life-some i go to for reassurance and support, some for motivation and a push towards things, some for a shoulder to cry on, some for a partner in crime but all of them hold a more than relative importance.

conclusively; there is a simplicity and beauty in TRUE friendship that is so pure and unaffected which is the basis behind my motivation to divulge my feelings on this ever so important topic. i fear i don't illustrate or make aware to my friends how vital they are to my imminent survival but they are-so to all my friends who have stuck by me through all the shenanigans that my 21 years have encountered-this ones for you.

assertive and bulletproof.

why do we as humans feel this incogitable insecurity when it comes to the opposite sex?

why do we fear being too 'available' or 'easily attained'?

why cant when one person likes another, just SAY it-throw it out there- protrude it-text it-scream it-show it-sing it-write it?

and, god why, why has it become so socially unacceptable to be the instigator if you don't own a set of gonads?

possibly because we have convinced ourselves that asserting even the slightest omission of feelings towards someone will be met with the hurricane that is non reciprocation. it's everyone's fear, even if they do not display it cognitively-lingering deep down in each confession, each text, each word is that little voice telling us all that this is 'taboo.' this application applies in double for girls; were suppose to be the chased, the unattainable, the holy grail. but in saying so i've also heard numerous guys claim "i hate when girls play mind games."

and this is where it becomes nonsensical...

so you want us to appear unattainable even if we like you, but you don't want us to play mind games. correct me if im wrong-but isn't playing hard to get-i.e: the chase, a mind game in itself?

 isnt that hypocritical in the highest extent?

imagine the world where people scrapped their inhibitions, laid it out like it was, put it bluntly:

 i like you.

i want to date you.
i want to spend time with you
i think your a great person.

...these are all also acceptable.

however, we usually spend an abundance of our time with this person we undoubtedly "like" pretending we don't, in fact, "like" them.

and, to further my solidification of how ridiculous this concept is... if we are successful in making the other person think we are actually unattainable or that we aren't the least bit interested-one of two things will happen, they will either cave and admit that they are interested in us and pray that we reciprocate that feeling or they will be so dumbfounded, confused and frustrated that they will imminently believe you are actually unattainable and in this realization they will merely pull away from the situation all together.

so you have a 50/50 chance of "getting what you want."

ri-freaking-diculous if you ask me.

but in saying that...its not like i go against the rules of this totally offside game. i play the part, hell im on the starting line. i chalk it up to previous experiences, when in fact, im just terror-stricken to put myself out there.

if we text them first, we seem too eager.
if we answer phone calls, texts, bbms quickly, were too available.
if we suggest hanging out, were clingy.

..in guys opinions, that is.

ever thought we just said fuck it and decided to go for it because we refuse to waste our time playing infantile games or because we have discovered you will never be assertive enough to do it yourself?

dont get me wrong, i love my solidarity. i do what i want, when i want, how i want to. but when i see potential in something or someone, i want to explore it, experience it...regardless of the outcome, and im sure im not the only one with this incentive. who knows what will come of it? it could end before it even begins if it ends with no retribution or it ould result in an amazing, life altering communication. but how are we suppose to do this when this puerile ideology of how were 'suppose' to come together is still in effect?

so i suggest this: we just go for it. put it out there. say fuck the rules. be honest. put a seriosu kabosh on the mind games. embrace feelings and opinions. screw the fears. call someone up; sober, drunk, in despair, in a moment of courage and say: i fucking like you. deal with it accordingly. refuse to be discouraged-no matter what the outcome. take charge regardless of what society tells us is okay and not okay. live in the moment.

as my dad always says: if you dont try-you automatically fail.

and this girl refuses to fail.

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