My mind is completely ordained with new epiphanies that have made me unable to even contemplate sleep as I subconsciously prefer to analyze my new found thoughts.

For the first time tonight it really hit me that I was over my ex. 

I know, I know-your thinking: juvenile!

But really, how many of you have felt that beautiful simplicity of relief you get when you realise this seemingly unattainable goal has been, in fact, obtained. No more curiosity that disrupts your every day life pertaining to their where abouts or their status or whether their thinking of you or missing you or wanting you? No more hurt, no more embarassment. 

Just complete bliss. 

Much overdo relief.

So if this pertains to you; give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.

Over the past two months I have unknowingly begun this euphoric process of omitting this person from my life, who, in the grande scheme of things, doesn't really deserve to be there in the first place-at least not in the romantic portion. It began with texts, then emails, then deleting him all together from my phone. 

I felt cleaner, more organized, less affected.

But then something happened that even bewildered me; I heard "our song", no not the kick ass Taylor Swift rendition but that song every couple has that reflects their relationship or is even just mutually shared and reminds each person of one another.

I was cruising home from work, half zombie from the days slow drag but content to be free from the office for the time being and there it was; Gary Allan's rustic, rough voice belting out the first lines of 'Watching Airplanes' and many of possible things did NOT happen that used to; my mood didn't drop like a thermometer on a corpse, I didn't feel the urge to pathetically message him and I didn't wallow.

I know-good for me right? Oh but it didn't end there-no, I was on a roll. With my new found alleviation and solace I decided to push the envelope-so to speak- and go where I had never gone before....facebook.

Okay, so I surf facebook frequently, I meant facebook him. The guy who to put it roughly-completely bent my life over and screwed it (metaphorically, of course) for the past two years, the guy who made me fall for him only to show me how incomprehensively bad we were for each other, the guy who made me avoid certain places or outings in fear of having to play the cool, calm and collected ex girlfriend when, in fact, I was a big ball of anger and hurt on the verge of exploding, the guy who, to this day, still does not understand the shitty feelings he made me feel and how many times I actually cried (and I, for the record, NEVER cry.) I added HIM to facebook. I did something that if I in any way, shape or form had 'feelings' for him, would not do. But I feel at peace with the person I am-without him, and frankly who doesn't want their ex to see how happy they really are at this point in their life?

Call it corny but I am so overly proud of myself. I feel like I am now ready to move on with my life and truly focus on what will make me happy-not on how I can make him happy. 

Before I sound like a cruel hearted bitch, I will admit my defeat on one account. I will always care for this individual and will always want the best for him, even if it isn't me. I will still get that little rush of happiness when I think of the good times, that really just consisted of watching in ornament amounts of Joe Rogan stand up and well..enjoying each others company-im sure you catch my drift. But, I personally, think thats only to be expected. No matter how many things I can think of and cringe, I prefer to extract the good times and feelings they produced from the situation, as oppose to the negative ones.