every time i cruise facebook, i notice an ever growing and somewhat disturbing "phase" or trend-im going to call it.
an ABUNDANT number of people my age getting engaged and married. (not to mention having baby after baby after baby..but ill save that for another blog.)
why are people rushing so seemingly whole heartedly into marriage?
back in the 'olden days' marriage was rushed into because women wanted to be taken care of or it was arranged for parents to benefit, etc etc...i like to think we've come a long way since then..
is it something couples feel obligated to do after a certain amount of time?
is it to ensure future social acceptance?
is it simple because they are happy?
i understand the concept of marriage, im not totally sure it is something i personally wish to experience or participate in, however i get the genre consensus of the subject.
you love someone. you only want to be with that one person. you see them as someone you could build a future and a family with. there in lies the reasons to marry them.
but why the rush? why are people feeling the need to legate the relationship at age 22, sometimes even younger!
lets not misconstrue my opinions or thoughts on the matter; i know plenty of couples who married young who are happy, successful and evoking zero regrets and in turn, i am nothing but happy for them. i am simply questioning the rush.
i feel like agreeing to 'holy matrimony' at such a young age is slightly juvenile and illusively restricting. i keep thinking, imagine one day you meet someone, someone youve never imagined existed-possibly your true soulmate (assuming you believe in that..stuff.) and you thrill and wonder and question it but ultimately you will never be able to experience meeting and getting to know this person because you decided at age 20 that you had met the person your suppose to be with. hell im 22 and i still cant decide which toothpaste is best for me! i cant even begin to fathom at age 22 even meeting enough people or going enough places or experiencing enough of what life and this earth have to offer to have met that certain someone.
what if one day you decide you want to go on a year long back packing tour through europe or spend a year working at whistler...low and behold your significant other has no desire to do so. well your shit out of luck because after you marry someone your lives become one and all future decisions on either of your lives have to be made and agreed upon by TWO people. you can kiss good bye any selfishness (which, from my experience can be incredibly rewarding and sometimes more than necessary to be completely true to yourself, your wants and your needs.) so here you are at 21, 22, 23...and your married. the option to explore and learn and grow and think of yourself and have your solidarity is gone.
i continuously think of all the things i want to accomplish for myself before i can begin thinking of someone elses wants and needs and it basically bewilders me. i want to travel, get the job of my dreams, pay off my school debt and most importantly TRULY discover who i am and what i want out of life-how can any of that really be accomplished when distracted by an other person and what they WANT.
what if i want to travel...they dont. the job of my dreams is 3000 miles from the job of their dreams. i want to pay off school debt but i have a mortgage and payments of a stupid 10,000 wedding dress. what if i am one person when they meet me and find out im a totally different person ten years from them? you run the risk of falling out of love. if theres one thing i detest more than an absurdly premature marriage, its an absurdly premature divorce.
i realize my rant doesnt change peoples beliefs and they will pursue their illusive wedding plans regardless, all im stating is people need to think of this in a mature and realistic way. if you get married at 22 and live to be 92...you are potentially able to be married for 70 years. 70 YEARS. more than 3 times longer than you have already been alive. its beautiful and heart warming if it happens but 70 years with one person that you met when you were still living off of mom and dad is a long time.
for me, personally, i have decided that im at the age of ME time. i want to get everything out of life that i can while i can without doubts or discussions or needing approval from anyone. i want the time that i meet and marry, if i chose to do so, to be the best time of my life, i want to be ME. and i just cant see that right now.
so to all those who are married, engaged, etc...i am truly happy for you and wish you all the best.
but for all those taking it easy, day by day, living life like there may be no tomorrow and truly experiencing what it has to offer....i am impressed by you.
an ABUNDANT number of people my age getting engaged and married. (not to mention having baby after baby after baby..but ill save that for another blog.)
why are people rushing so seemingly whole heartedly into marriage?
back in the 'olden days' marriage was rushed into because women wanted to be taken care of or it was arranged for parents to benefit, etc etc...i like to think we've come a long way since then..
is it something couples feel obligated to do after a certain amount of time?
is it to ensure future social acceptance?
is it simple because they are happy?
i understand the concept of marriage, im not totally sure it is something i personally wish to experience or participate in, however i get the genre consensus of the subject.
you love someone. you only want to be with that one person. you see them as someone you could build a future and a family with. there in lies the reasons to marry them.
but why the rush? why are people feeling the need to legate the relationship at age 22, sometimes even younger!
lets not misconstrue my opinions or thoughts on the matter; i know plenty of couples who married young who are happy, successful and evoking zero regrets and in turn, i am nothing but happy for them. i am simply questioning the rush.
i feel like agreeing to 'holy matrimony' at such a young age is slightly juvenile and illusively restricting. i keep thinking, imagine one day you meet someone, someone youve never imagined existed-possibly your true soulmate (assuming you believe in that..stuff.) and you thrill and wonder and question it but ultimately you will never be able to experience meeting and getting to know this person because you decided at age 20 that you had met the person your suppose to be with. hell im 22 and i still cant decide which toothpaste is best for me! i cant even begin to fathom at age 22 even meeting enough people or going enough places or experiencing enough of what life and this earth have to offer to have met that certain someone.
what if one day you decide you want to go on a year long back packing tour through europe or spend a year working at whistler...low and behold your significant other has no desire to do so. well your shit out of luck because after you marry someone your lives become one and all future decisions on either of your lives have to be made and agreed upon by TWO people. you can kiss good bye any selfishness (which, from my experience can be incredibly rewarding and sometimes more than necessary to be completely true to yourself, your wants and your needs.) so here you are at 21, 22, 23...and your married. the option to explore and learn and grow and think of yourself and have your solidarity is gone.
i continuously think of all the things i want to accomplish for myself before i can begin thinking of someone elses wants and needs and it basically bewilders me. i want to travel, get the job of my dreams, pay off my school debt and most importantly TRULY discover who i am and what i want out of life-how can any of that really be accomplished when distracted by an other person and what they WANT.
what if i want to travel...they dont. the job of my dreams is 3000 miles from the job of their dreams. i want to pay off school debt but i have a mortgage and payments of a stupid 10,000 wedding dress. what if i am one person when they meet me and find out im a totally different person ten years from them? you run the risk of falling out of love. if theres one thing i detest more than an absurdly premature marriage, its an absurdly premature divorce.
i realize my rant doesnt change peoples beliefs and they will pursue their illusive wedding plans regardless, all im stating is people need to think of this in a mature and realistic way. if you get married at 22 and live to be 92...you are potentially able to be married for 70 years. 70 YEARS. more than 3 times longer than you have already been alive. its beautiful and heart warming if it happens but 70 years with one person that you met when you were still living off of mom and dad is a long time.
for me, personally, i have decided that im at the age of ME time. i want to get everything out of life that i can while i can without doubts or discussions or needing approval from anyone. i want the time that i meet and marry, if i chose to do so, to be the best time of my life, i want to be ME. and i just cant see that right now.
so to all those who are married, engaged, etc...i am truly happy for you and wish you all the best.
but for all those taking it easy, day by day, living life like there may be no tomorrow and truly experiencing what it has to offer....i am impressed by you.
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